Bush tries to veto Congress’s health insurance

Apparently high on his victory over middle class children after vetoing a bill to expand health insurance to them, President Bush has attempted to rescind Congress’s “federalized” healthcare, which is paid in full by the U.S. government, a White House spokesman said yesterday.

“We have achieved another major victory over Communism,” Bush said through an interpreter yesterday, during a press conference in the White House Rose Garden. The interpreter was there translating Bush’s Texas man-speak and various historical misinterpretations for reporters, most of whom have simply printed and broadcast them at face value up to now, leading to mass confusion among likely voters in next year’s presidential election, even Republicans.

“The 9 million middle-class children who would’ve been covered by this pinko bill are off the hook,” he continued. “They’re better off letting their parents — not gay now, mom and dad both — summon a way to buy health insurance, so that America is safe from the evils of heathens like the French, whose government takes care of their kids, for some anti-capitalist reason.

“That is why today I’m announcing my planned veto of the Congressional healthcare package. It is time these people compete, like real Americans.”

Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY, said he supports the president’s decision, even though he thinks it’s the wrong call at this time.

“We need to stay the course on healthcare,” the senator appeared to say to a reporter, though his mouth never moved. “Maybe when our country is militarily solvent, we can think about this step against the Red Invasion that Hillary Clinton represents. But as for now, I support the president, even though it may sound like I’m not.”

Bush’s advisors quickly clarified for the White House press pool that the president didn’t mean to say “veto,” as the president cannot veto a bill that has already been signed into law by a previous president. “The intent is basically the same,” one said.