Kragthorpe to grow line beard in attempt to win back Cardinal fans

University of Louisville head football coach Steve Kragthorpe announced at his weekly press conference Monday that he plans to grow a line beard, also known as a "chinstrap", in a desperate attempt to regain the trust of Cardinal fans.

“It appears the Papa John’s posse wants me to do two things: fix the defense and grow a line beard,” the embattled coach said. “I plan to do both.” 

Kragthorpe said he hopes to have the fortitude to grow a razor-thin line of hair down the side of his face, and then have the hair cut at a perfect right angle by the time it meets the jaw line.  He knows the expectations to have the precise 'L'-shaped cut will be high. 

“From a schematic standpoint, I think the beard will be tougher than the defense.  It takes some skill to get that thing just right.  And there’s no way I want to let down the fans by showing up for the Cincinnati game with an out-of-positioned line beard.  The goatee obviously didn’t work, so I’m down with trying something new.”

Asked whether the coaching staff will wear bulky white athletic shoes and oversized T-shirts with a massive image of himself, Kragthorpe said, “As of now, no, but it’s certainly something we’re looking into.”