UofL fans: 'At least we beat you in real football, as in soccer'

Disappointed UofL fans woke up Sunday morning reminding rival UK fans that Saturday night’s controversial football win paled in comparison to UofL’s commanding soccer victory the previous week. On September 6, UofL’s soccer team traveled to Lexington and beat UK 4-2.

UK fan Doris Murray, proudly donning her self-made Wildcat patch sweater vest, was walking into St. Helen Catholic Church Sunday morning when fellow parishioner and UofL fan Don Norton chastised her for wearing what he considered “offensive church apparel.”

“It’s sort of funny you’re wearing that considering we killed you in soccer last week,” Norton told Murray, nearly double his age. “You had absolutely no answer for (Aaron) Clapham, and did you see (Phil) Edington’s header from (Marco) Terminesi? Did you see that? I couldn’t believe your boy (Aaron) Swanson even tried to jump with him. Laughable. Well, at least you all bounced back by tying Cleveland State. Nice work.”

Murray, who simply responded “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, continued into church to what pray for what she later called “Brooks’ resurrection.” Tammy Norton, another UofL fan who witnessed the exchange, said Murray’s confused reaction is not surprising.

“Kentucky fans are so out of touch with reality,” said Norton, who had just listened to Code Red’s latest platinum album in her car. “If they had a clue about anything that happens beyond this state’s borders, they’d know that soccer, I mean football, is the most popular sport in the world. Everyone knows that (UofL soccer coach Ken) Lolla has this team on track to do some great things this year.

“Wow, UK fans, you beat us in American football. You still have a coach who called for an extra point up 5 points with less than a minute on the clock. But no one really cares anyway. We played you in real football, and we won. Big.”